Hereditary Crossdressing in family as a part

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Celeb Insta-World: Make Way For The Style Queens!

From glam-rock to retro-fabulous, Hollywood glamour to edgy sartorialism, this week the FashionTV style panel have selected our top celebrity style queens of the week; featuring Miley Cyrus, Solange Knowles, Rihanna, and more!

She took the hot seat on the front row at Marchesa’s NYFW Fall 2013-14 show, and we can see why, as Miley Cyrus’ style has gone punk-chic fabulous! Mixing elegant rompers with leather jackets, and not to mention her peroxide hair-do.... which we’re totally feeling... Cyrus has upped the style stakes big time!

Another lady forefronting the fashion game is none other than Beyonce’s little sis, Solange Knowles who manages to take looks straight off the runway and give them her signature retro twist, check out the sisters’ hot looks in the gallery below.

Meanwhile, as we all know, little miss Kate Upton has made it from swimwear babe to the front of two Vogue covers in the last year and recently landed a shoe campaign with high fashion brand Sam Edelman. But there’s something ever so Hollywood glamour about the 20-year-old model when she puts on an elegant frock!

And where there is fashion, there is British presenter-come-model-turned-fashion editor Alexa Chung! Earlier this week Chung was covering the Grammys and true to her stylish self arrived on the red carpet in a flaring Fifties Valentino floral dress! Check out our style queens looks below:






 




    



 

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A Look Back at Ten Years in Five Inch Heels : The New Millennium

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a schoolgirl for Halloween

I had picked out my Halloween costume months ago: a girl in a school uniform. (I was inspired by Elizabeth Hurley’s schoolgirl outfit in the movie Bedazzled.)

I searched the Internet and found a number of sites that sold school uniforms. The French Toast site had a nice selection, reasonable prices, and sizes that would fit me. I ordered a white, short sleeve blouse with a Peter Pan collar, a red and black pleated skirt, a matching cross tie, and white knee socks. I already had a pair of black, Mary Janes with a chunky heel.

It was my first time out since spring, so it took longer than usual to get ready (more than normal hair removal and lack-of-practice cosmetic skills). I looked cute in that outfit.

My wife had a red hair band that I was going to wear, but it did not look right. My daughter suggested putting my hair in a braid or pigtails. Pigtails with red ribbons were perfect; they completed the look.

I put on my coat, grabbed my purse, and went to the 2002 installment of my support group's Halloween party.

I had an urge to share my costume with the general public. First, I tried Dunkin’ Donuts, but the place was empty. Next, I tried Stop and Shop. It was very busy, but I chickened-out. As I drove on, I tried to think of other places to try and I remembered the CVS near the site of my support group’s meeting.

I pulled into the CVS parking lot and the place was full of cars. I did not hesitate. I parked the car, grabbed my keys and wallet, and went inside.

Two couples exiting the store barely noticed me. I walked to the back of the store to get a Pepsi and passed a few more people who never paid me any mind.

I figured out why the store was busy… a lot of people were in the Halloween department, buying candy, costumes, and whatever.

I headed to the registers. There were two lines, which soon expanded to three. A young boy in front of me, smiled at me and I smiled back, but no one else seemed to notice me. The cashier did not seem to have any reaction either. After I paid the cashier and walked out of the store, the same boy was standing near the door checking out newspapers or whatever and he watched me intently as I walked out.

Boy, was that anti-climatic! Did I pass or did everyone avoid me like the plague? I dunno. I actually made eye contact with a lot of the people I saw, but besides the young boy, they never reacted. It was like I was invisible. Whatever… it sure boosted my confidence and the mall is on tap for a future adventure.

I arrived at the party and there was a good crowd… the usual and a few newbies. My costume was a hit. Everyone who had a camera took a picture of me. There were four costume contest categories and I won for the scariest… scary in that a 50-something man was impersonating an 18-year-old girl impersonating a 12-year-old girl. That is scary!

My prize was a neat makeup mirror. It consists of two mirrors (one normal, the other magnified) mounted on either end of a bendable neck. When you are using one mirror, the other mirror serves as the base.

I had a very good time.

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A Secret Princess

I haven't always been into crossdressing, and compared to most of the stories I've read, you could say I'm a bit of a late bloomer. I can't remember exactly when I started feeling attracted to wearing women's clothing, but I can place it to somewhere in my mid-to-late teens. What I can recall is being at a concert with my girlfriend at the time. We were walking around and I saw two girls wearing brightly colored tutus (they were more like petticoats to be honest) walking around and I froze. I mean, I knew ballerinas wore tutus but I never really thought much of it until that very moment. It looked very attractive and appealing to me. I turned towards my girlfriend and asked her if she would ever wear that. She kind of shrugged it off and said "maybe, I wouldn't buy one though". I asked her what if I bought one for her to wear and she said sure. I went online and bought a black petticoat (she wasn't very much into pink, but she sure loved black) for her.
When it arrived at my house, I immediately took the package to my room, locked the door, and looked at it. Before I even realized it, I had tried it on and this rush, this feeling swept over me. It felt so right, and wonderful. I was instantly turned on. The next time she came over, I gave her the petticoat, she slipped it on and, being a dancer, she twirled around a bit in it. I told her it looked very attractive and one thing led to another and I made love to her while she wore the petticoat. Afterward, she said it was kind of scratchy and while she liked it, she said she didn't see herself wearing it very often. She did however wear it to my house once or twice more until she accidentally left it in my room and just sort of forgot about it. I certainly didn't. I remember trying on the petticoat and twirling and prancing and being so flushed and turned on by it. I had no idea I felt this way. Of course, my first instinct was to keep it a secret, so when I was done, I shoved it to the back my closet, to be unseen and unknown by anyone except me.

A year or so later, that same girlfriend and I went to her high school prom (I had graduated two years before), and like most couples, we rented a hotel room and stayed the weekend. She wore a big, ruffled, absolutely beautiful purple prom dress that I secretly adored but never let it show except for a casual "That dress looks nice on you" comment. Over that weekend, while at the pool, she noticed she forgot her cell phone and asked me to run up to the room to get it. I went up and found it in the closet...along with her dress. I stared at it for a few seconds before deciding to put it on. I looked at myself in the mirror and felt so pretty. I couldn't believe I was actually wearing a dress! A poofy prom dress no less! I was in heaven. I then realized I was taking a bit longer than I should have so I took it off, grabbed the phone and headed back to the pool, after I had "cooled off" a bit.

At this point, I was extremely secretive about my crossdressing. I only got to try on the prom dress once, but I wish I could've kept it forever. Years went by, my girlfriend and I went through a very painful breakup, and I was single for the first time in 4 years. I never told her that I tried her dress (or that I kept her petticoat). Eventually, the petticoat ended up getting thrown out along with a bunch of random things in my closet during a cleaning by accident. At this point, I was working a full time job and I came across a costume site that had tons of fairy tale (among other things) costume dresses and it dawned to me that I could actually afford to buy my own clothes! I set a little aside and purchased an Alice In Wonderland costume along with a new petticoat to go with it. When it finally arrived, I tried it on and felt magical. I have always loved the dress Alice wears, so while wearing it, I felt innocent, vulnerable, and delicate, but also very pretty. I still have that costume, and sometimes when I'm alone and the urge strikes, the dress comes out and I go in. I plan on visiting the costume site again soon to purchase my next dress, Rainbow Brite (complete with a rainbow tutu, of course)!

I came across your site a little while ago and I was fascinated by your articles. How wonderful it is for a girl to be into crossdressing! I've always been comfortable in my sexuality and while my crossdressing habits first kind of scared me a little (as well as excite me!), I kind of settled into the notion that I just liked wearing women's clothing. It first started off as a sexual attraction, and for the most part it still is. It has since evolved to include more than just sexual thoughts. I love the feeling of wearing a petticoat and nothing else. I absolutely adore twirling around in a tutu or being embraced by a beautiful fairy dress with puffy sleeves. I've also had to deal with the internal workings of coming out as a crossdresser. Part of me wants to keep it a private secret, a special feeling for me and only me that I will take with me to the grave, yet I find myself occasionally having dreams at night about wearing a dress. On rarer occasions,
I've found myself telling some of my closest friends that are girls about these dreams, seemingly joking.

I'm currently in a relationship with a wonderful girl who knows I have a fondness for girls in tutus. I lucked out because she enjoys dressing up for me, and I even gave her my Alice costume to wear for Halloween (She saw it online and thought it'd make a cute costume, so I "bought" it for her). The costume ended up back in my possession a little while ago, how I've missed wearing it so! While she is definitely the most understanding girl I have ever been with, I'm not sure if I will ever tell her about my crossdressing. The thing is, I'm not sure if I even want to. I feel as though my crossdressing, while I've accepted it as a part of me, will always remain a secret between me and myself, to be done in private, and I'm completely comfortable with that. I like having a little secret to myself, though I won't lie to you, I have fantasies about being sissified. I would love for me and my girlfriend to be both dressed up like princesses and be all girly, but for now, I'm happy the way I am, as a secret princess.

This has been both a rush and a relief to be able to share this with someone, and especially to someone who appreciates how wonderful this is, while still staying true to my secret (thank you anonymous internet!). I am so glad I found your site and that there are people who feel just like me. It makes me feel even more comfortable to wear my petticoats and tutus knowing this, and as it is, I happen to be wearing my petticoat now!

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Grayson Perry

Grayson Perry is one of my crossdressing heroes.

He isn't well known outside the UK, and he isn't even all that well-known inside it. So here's a brief introduction to this very interesting person.
Grayson Perry (52) is an artist. In fact, he's a very good one, having won Britain's prestigious Turner Prize in 2003. The Turner Prize was where I first heard of Perry. Not only did he win it, but he collected it wearing a dress, which I thought was remarkably brave. That got him into the papers (and therefore brought him to my attention), and probably gave the Turner Prize organisers a bit of unexpected publicity. I am honestly not sure I could name one other Turner Prize winner, although that chap who pickled the shark in the tank might have been in with a shot for a while there.

Perry is best known for his ceramic pots, which have elegant classical shapes, but are often decorated with images of very dark themes. It was one such pot which won him the Turner Prize. He also makes quilts and embroidery and works in other media.

Perry is also a very open cross dresser. I thought that him appearing in a dress to collect his Turner Prize was extraordinary, but he still went one better. In 2004, he was invited to Buckingham Palace to meet the Queen. And he wore a frock. I personally would like to be more confident in my cross dressing (wouldn't we all?), but cross dressing to meet the Queen is insane: Her Majesty is one tough lady. Perry said "I thought the Queen's eyes were going to pop out of her head when she saw me." We may not have been amused.

I'm probably the first tranny at the Palace, although one or two may have slipped through unnoticed. This just happens to be my preferred style of dress.

Other transvestites think I'm the wrong sort of weirdo because they don't like my dresses.

Perry's wife Phillipa and daughter Flo (20) have known about his open cross dressing from the beginning. He adopts the alter-ego Claire. He often (but not always) dresses Claire as a child (something I personally find very disturbing and will touch on in a later blog; the "wrong sort of weirdo"?). He is often interviewed in the persona of Claire. His autobiography, published in 2006, is entitledPortrait of the Artist as a Young Girl. I admit I haven't read it yet, but it's on my list, and you can be sure I will blog about it once I have. Perry writes:
 

Claire is not a real person; it's me in a frock. All she does is swan about, look at herself in the mirror and primp, and go to parties, smile and have a nice time. She does not DO anything - she doesn't even make a bit of toast. Claire doesn't make any pots.

You can’t put on a dress and swan about in public and complain when you get attention. It doesn’t bother me. It’s a handy tool when I need it. I might be ‘the tranny potter' but at least it's a brand.

Once he was on my radar, I have kept attempted to keep up with his appearances. I unfortunately missed his appearance on Desert Island Discs (shame on you if you have never heard of this fascinating interview programme from the BBC!), but I did manage to see his personal documentary, Why Men Wear Frocks. I wasn't able to find it on YouTube, but I did find a Google video of the first couple of minutes here. If you have more success finding this online, please let me know and I will update my links. (Addendum: I have finally got hold of this documentary and have started to blog about it in much more detail here).


What I enjoyed about this programme (and why I like Perry) is that he is absolutely fearless and forthright in what he does. He is a cross dresser, and he enjoys it, and so he just does it. He is also not afraid to talk openly about why cross dressing is enjoyable, and why sometimes it is painful or unpleasant. He may be what Eddie Izzard calls an "executive transvestite".
Why I envy him is that, when I see him, nobody seems to bat an eye at his behaviour (with perhaps the exception of Her Majesty on that one occasion). It's as if, being an artist, people expect him to behave in an outrageous way. Being an artist seems to give himpermission to cross dress, somehow. When I watch him I want to shout: "It's OK for you! You're not supposed to conform to societal norms! But what about the rest of us?"

Even I admit, I feel more comfortable with cross dressing among artistic types (artists and musicians and actors) than among more traditional male archetypes (teachers, lawyers, doctors, priests).

As well as being a transvestite, Perry is also a motorcycle enthusiast. The documentary features a track day, where a large male biker is asked why he enjoys motorcycles. He responds (without a hint of irony) something like "Well, I come down here, I put on my leathers, and I feel like a completely different person. I can leave my life behind and just be someone else for a while. It's totally relaxing". Perry elicited several similar comments from other bikers, and came away remarking that actually, "trannies and bikers have a lot more in common than you might think."

So there you have him. Grayson Perry. Artist. Transvestite. Queen-surpriser.

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Emma Ballantyne in london

How cool would it be to lead a secret double life? Being a superhero with a cool car and a secret, hi-tech hideaway would be great, but sometimes (as I have touched on in this blog) it's nice to just escape from being yourself for a while.

What if you escaped at whim, not into anonymity, but into celebrity? To be someone cool, interesting, who attracts adulation and approval? It seems that Emma Ballantyne has achieved just that.

I first blogged about Emma last November, and I have since been able to get in touch with her personally. We've exchanged a few emails, and she very kindly agreed to be interviewed. I have to say, I had to ask her several times. Despite the fact that her YouTube channel has 3.7 million hits, and over 7000 subscribers (I admit, I am one), Emma seems remarkably reluctant to court public attention. She also seems very balanced and down-to-earth.

She writes: "I'm still finding it hard to come to terms with the notion that people may be interested in reading what I have to say!" Erm... exsqueeze me? I suspect (like me) there are hundreds, if not thousands, of people out there who would hang on her every word. In addition, to long and insightful answers, Emma has also provided us with four of her favourite images to illustrate this post. So get ready to hang away, here she goes.

How long have you been a crossdresser?

I can still vividly remember the first time I sought out some of my mother's clothes to try on. I would have been around 10 or 11 years old and had been watching Von Ryan's Express (of all things!) with my parents, but had lost interest in the film and gone upstairs to my room. On the way, without thinking I raided the airing cupboard and took a skirt and some tights/ pantyhose to try on.

Taurus Bar, Manchester. July 2013.

This was my introduction to actually knowing that I wanted to wear women's clothes, but the signs were there for may be five or six years prior to that. I remember the sheer enjoyment of having to wear tights for a part I was playing in a school play when I was in infant class at school, playing tennis in the garden with a towel tied around my waist pretending it was a skirt, and being scolded by my mother for pulling my old fashioned vest down and wearing it as a skirt in the house. But my "proper" introduction was through my mother's wardrobe, and thinking back I must have left a trail a mile long for my parents to find!

When was the first time you ventured out dressed?

Probably in my late teens. Although I had wanted to go out for a long time, I just didn't have the clothes to wear. I lived with my parents until I was 17, and tried to be very careful to hide my "secret" from them. Eventually I realised that I needed some clothes of my own, so I bought a mini-kilt, black blouse and black tights which I hid under the floor of the built-in wardrobe of my room. Within a few weeks of purchasing these items I started to sneak out of the house wearing them, usually on weekend nights after having been out late with friends when I knew my parents would be asleep. At this time I had no shoes, make-up or wig, so I tried to style my hair into a pixie cut and wore some Doc Martens to try to look a bit indie!

After leaving the family home I soon expanded my wardrobe, acquired a wig from a charity shop and bought some basic make-up, but even then my outings were after dark and it wasn't until around 2003 that I gained enough confidence to venture out in daylight.

What gave you the idea to start taking video of yourself dressed?

Local shopping centre. June 2012.

I was housebound for a few months in 2006 after a spinal injury and it was during the long hours spent in my home trawling the internet that I discovered YouTube. There were maybe only a couple of thousand trans-related videos uploaded at that time, and although some were very basic I was definitely inspired to film myself. At the time I had no intention of making my recordings public, they were purely to analyse to see how I could improve my posture and walk, and to see which styles of clothes did or didn't suit me.

I had noticed that that the majority of videos on YouTube at that time tended to be of cross dressers walking to and from their camera, vlogging, or maybe filming themselves in a mirror, so after my first (very basic) outdoor video I decided to upload a clip of something I thought was a wee bit different. I never expected the clip to provoke any reaction or be viewed to any great extent so I was pleasantly surprised when I received positive feedback!

One gets the impression from watching your videos that you go out dressed daily, perhaps even full-time. How often do you go out dressed?

Not nearly as often that I would like to! Until about four years ago, I would go out maybe once a fortnight during the day, but I then ran into some problems with some rather intolerant neighbours which really knocked my confidence. I do like to take 2 or 3 trips a year to meet cross dressing friends, but since the issues with my neighbours surfaced, I am much more reluctant to go out of the house dressed, so it's now down to maybe once a month, or every six weeks or so in daylight. I dress 2 or 3 times a week in the house though, and will often head out for takeaway food or cigarettes in the evenings. I've no wish to dress full-time as my job would become impossible, and my social life would be curtailed as there is a bit of a small-town mentality where I live.

Also, I have to say, I don't think I could put myself through the make-up and prepping every day!

How does it feel to know your videos have been seen by almost 5 million people?

Amazed and flattered! There are so many videos which I feel are superior to mine, and so many t-girls who are more convincing than me that I often wonder what the appeal is with my videos. I do know that I have a perhaps unfair advantage over many who make videos, in that my channel tends to pop up first when one searches for "transvestite" on YouTube, so maybe it is easier to stumble over my videos as a result of this. I'm not sure why this happens-- I don't pay YouTube for this dubious privilege!

Have you ever been to a cross dressing social event? A ball or weekend?

No, and to be honest these events do not really interest me. I like to try to be as regular as I can in what I do when I'm dressed, and to my mind these events are a little too closed off from reality. This isn't to say that those who organise events aren't doing a great job, as they are giving opportunities to many who perhaps have no other opportunity to dress over an extended period; or to take away from the attendees, but for someone like me who isn't very good in large social gatherings at the best of times, I fear I would find it awkward being in a group of people I know little about and maybe have nothing in common with, other than a shared passion for dressing.

What was it like spending a holiday cross dressed in Venice? (I still can't believe that you did this!)

Well, believe it or not it was my first experience of any overseas travel! The build-up was both exciting and nerve-wracking, but to be honest I was more nervous about flying for the first time in my life! There were actually a number of things which made the trip a lot easier for me. Firstly, and most importantly, I fully trusted my friend Luisa who lives in Northern Italy to plan what we were going to do, and I knew that if there was something I felt uneasy about doing that she would understand and not force me into an uncomfortable situation. Venice being so busy was also to our advantage, as it was much easier to blend in and not be seen, unlike in say a small town where people have more opportunity to do a double-take if they think you may not be what you first appear to be. It was also a bonus for me in that I don't speak Italian, so if people were commenting I didn't realise!

It's probably been the most thrilling experience of my life, and when I think of some of the things we did (train journeys, boat trips) it brings back so many good memories which I will always treasure. The only negative was how exhausting it all was! Obviously there is a lot of walking to be done in Venice (thank goodness I wore flats!) but the sheer adrenaline rush absolutely sapped the energy from me.

What sort of look are you trying to create? Who are your inspirations?

University campus. May 2012.

I have two favourite looks - an "indie-girl-next-door" look, and a business look. I also adore the styles of the 60s - short mod dresses, etc. I definitely veer towards conservative styles over flamboyance as I want to feel comfortable in my dress and not draw too much attention to myself. I do try to dress my age but fail miserably! Probably most of the time I'm wearing clothes designed for girls at least 10 years younger than me, but I seem to have reached an age where I fall between fashions designed for twenty-somethings and styles which I consider to be too frumpy or mumsy for forty-somethings like me! I'm not sure how much longer I can get away with dressing as I do though...

The women whose looks and style inspire me are Susanna Reid, Audrey Hepburn, Clare Grogan, Lily Allen and Miquita Oliver - I would kill to look like any of them! My t-girl inspirations are Jennifer White, Alison St John, French Lolita and the aforementioned Luisa Baris amongst many others.

Do people read you in public? How do they behave? Have you ever met hostility?

Oh I'm read regularly, without a doubt! The width of my shoulders and size of my feet are a giveaway to anyone paying enough attention. I am careful where I go though. I avoid groups of people, and younger people. Generally the older the person is or the smaller the group they are in the more accepting they are. In conversation people are very polite to my face, but of course their reaction could be very different once my back is turned. Most people don't seem to want to show any sign of a reaction. I'm aware of the second glances, but it's very rare for people to stop and stare.

To be honest, I go out expecting to be read. That way I am prepared for the worst but not obsessively thinking about passing every second I'm out there. I have seen hostility towards t-girls but none has been aimed at me, I think the odd sarcastic comment or wolf-whistle is the most I've had to put up with.

What is your single greatest cross dressing moment?

There are three which stand out. My first night out in public in a restaurant was a major breakthrough for me, the Venice trip, and a day out in Edinburgh which included walking from Holyrood to the Castle and back, and touring the Castle itself.

What is the most difficult thing for you about being a cross dresser?

Not being able to talk freely about it with many of my friends and family. Cross dressing is the most important part of my life, but it seems to still be misunderstood in society as a whole who maybe see it as a sexualised pastime or a subject of ridicule. I would love to say to my mother "I've bought this new dress for myself. Do you think it suits me?", but although my parents know I cross dress they will not broach the subject with me as it is something they don't understand, or maybe even feel guilty about.

What advice would you give to someone who wants to follow your example, to strut their stuff in public?

Relaxing at home. March 2013.

Dress in a way that makes you feel confident and comfortable within yourself. If you want to draw attention to yourself by all means wear a 13" mini-skirt, 6 inch heels, over-pad your breasts and show off your stocking tops... if you want to blend in, dress in the everyday styles you see most women wearing. Above all, stay safe.

What's your favourite cross dressing tip?

Watch real girls to see how they gesture, walk and hold their posture. Then spend endless hours in front of a mirror trying to do the same thing!

What famous person would you most like to meet?

A dinner party with Stewart Lee, Chris Morris, Alisdair Gray, Susanna Reid, Julian Cope, Madonna and Davey Henderson ([who performed in] Fire Engines, Win, etc) would be entertaining if nothing else! If the ghosts of Orson Welles, Billy Mackenzie, Audrey Hepburn and George Orwell popped in too that would make my night!

If that party ever happens, book me a seat!

How do you see the future of you cross dressing?

Hopefully I can become more open about it and be less scared about approval or acceptance.

===

So, what to say about all that? Of all the cross dressers I've "encountered", Emma is the one I envy the most. Why is that? Well, we are about the same age and have similar backgrounds. My life isn't so different from hers. Therefore she represents to me the pinnacle of what might be achievable. From her answers above, it's clear we have a similar take on quite a lot of issues.

I find myself surprised by how modest and unassuming she is. She seems to have been able not to let it all go to her head. In contrast with, say, Leah True, Emma seems content to keep to herself. She is not in competition with anyone.

What I also find interesting (and also agreeable) is Emma's choice of clothing. By her own account, she favours blending in; just wearing what real women wear, and this is a point which resonates with me. She doesn't dress like a "tranny".

This interview has also been a lesson to me in drawing too many conclusions from what you see on the Web. People present their best sides on the Web (I know I do). Emma's multiplicity of videos and photos suggest that she is basically Emma all the time. This was the impression I formed, and it's interesting how skewed that impression was. My surprise is how little Emma dresses, not how much.

I do not look as good as Emma dressed, and I have yet to venture out in public. I do not lack the confidence to do this, but like Emma, I live in a small town where people talk. When I see her videos she looks so comfortable, so natural, that I just assume that she passes, and again this may be an incorrect assumption. It is a reminder to me that passing isn't really about being unnoticed, but about being presentable enough that small children don't run away screaming, and confident enough that a few double-takes or whispered comments don't put you off.

The opening notion of this post is: how great would it be to be Emma? And yet, in among all this glamour and excitement, there are also hints of unhappiness: difficulties with family and with neighbours. That reminds me that most of us are living a compromise. For me, that compromise means hiding, so that I can keep my relationship with my family and my neighbours, stifling though this is at times. Emma has struck a different balance, and has achieved much greater freedom, but not without cost.

My thanks to Emma for agreeing to sit still under my microscope and be subject to my scrutiny.

 (Source : bluestockingblue.blogspot.com) 

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